Sometimes I still can't believe that I am actually pregnant! It is a crazy feeling going from wanting something so badly, praying for it, thinking about it nonstop & then all of the sudden everything has changed. My prayers filled with tears, sadness, hope, & pain, have been filled with prayers of thankfulness & tears of joy. I keep praying every day for my sister who is still trying to get pregnant & hoping that her time is soon.
I really can't get over how everything just changed so quickly though. I am so incredibly thankful & I think all day long about how happy I am & how thankful we are. Before, we were preparing for IVF & then I had my surgery but we were still mentally preparing to start injections & IUI's again & possibly even IVF. When I got the positive test I felt an immense relief & happiness wash over me. I had really been feeling stressed thinking of going back & redoing all of the tests & procedures that we had already done after my surgery. When we went in to our doctor for the first ultrasound a few weeks ago it was seriously unreal. We have been to so many ultrasounds but they have all been to get ready for IUI's or to try & resolve infertility issues. Each time, they have found something that was wrong or we have gotten ready for an IUI & then had it not work. I have not taken one second for granted at either or our ultrasound appointments. It feels so incredible to go in & have the doctor & nurses say that everything looks perfect & that our baby is measuring perfectly. Those words are the ones Nate & I have waited 4 years to hear & just hearing those words now makes the past 4 years worth it.
During the time of waiting & not knowing if I would ever be pregnant & the stress of appointments & shots, time seemed to go by so slowly. It dragged on & it was hard. Now, it seems like I am in a different world & all of the stress & sadness has turned into happiness. I know that there is a reason that Nate & I had to go through this waiting period & I also know that it is so much easier to say that now but I also knew it at the time. I always knew that whenever we did get pregnant we would appreciate everything so much more & that we would be more thankful & grateful that if we had not struggled. I know that this is a blessing not everyone gets. Since being pregnant, I have had so many people ask me how I feel & talk about how hard pregnancy was for them & how sick they were. For me I am just so incredibly thankful to be pregnant that I am thankful for it all. I have waited so long to be pregnant & wondered if I ever would be & now I finally am. It really is the best feeling & I am loving being pregnant, every moment of it! My heart & prayers go out to those who are still struggling with infertility because I know how hard it is & I never want to forget that pain & heartache because it makes the happiness of being pregnant that much sweeter.