Last weekend I used a spa giftcard from my sweet mother-in-law & spent the day at my favorite spa, the Elizabeth Arden Red Door Spa. I got there early so I could relax by the pool & read a little. It was so nice sipping a mint chocolate chip frappaccino while reading & dipping in & out of the water. Then I used the saunna, steam room, & hottub before going into the relaxation room. Then it was time for my massage & it was one of the best massages ever. Afterwards, I just stayed at the spa another hour to relax some more & then headed home. It was the perfect peaceful day I needed to be able to relax & not stress about doctor's appointments/not being able to be pregnant/surgery.
Nate & I went to the Mayo Clinic for the first time to meet the surgeon who our doctor recommended, Dr. Magrina. I had been feeling nervous, I am always nervous before appointments because it always seems that when something can or shouldn't go wrong, it does. I almost always seem to have the exception to what is normal (in a bad way). Dr. Magrina is French & a smaller, older man. He immediately made Nate & I feel comfortable & was joking around & making us laugh.
He was so kind & let us ask all the questions we wanted. I always bring a little notebook with questions so I don't forget to ask anything. After answering our questions, he told us, "ask me more" & was just so friendly. I had thought it was just an appointment to meet with him, but he needed to do an exam to make sure that I did have a septum, so I got undressed from the waist down & used a camera with a microscope to broadcast my body up on a screen... haha a little awkward. I couldn't look at the screen because I get so queasy & it is also uncomfortable with all the tools used, so I felt like I would throw up or faint if I was watching. Nate really should be a doctor though because he is so interested in anything medical & never gets grossed out.
Dr. Magrina found that I do definitely have a septum that is blocking my uterus except for a very tiny hole. The only option to remove it is surgery. He told us we would need to get an MRI and ultrasounds done & then we could get the surgery scheduled after that. We got an appointment set for the MRI & ultrasound & then set up a follow up appointment after that. Since finding out that I had a septum, we have really just wanted to get things taken care of as quick as possible in hopes that we can get pregnant. Nate & I just felt like it was an answer to our prayers that we both felt so good about doing the surgery & having Dr. Magrina as our surgeon.
After the appointment we had dinner at an awesome pizza place, Midici. It was decorated so cute & the pizza tasted almost as good as pizza in Italy! It was fun to have an afternoon date together since we usually don't get to see each other until nighttime.
Lying on the floor crying
Trying to hide the pain
Acting like everything is normal
Infertility is also
This summer break was relaxing & fun & the highlights were a girls surf trip to San Diego, a summer regional trip to Sedona with my honey, & a family reunion in Rocky Point with all of my family. I feel so blessed that we were able to have such a fun summer. In between the fun & good there was also sad, discouraging, & disappointing, but without the bad, we wouldn't see the good. My sweet grandpa passed away this summer, which was hard. This past year and a half both of my grandpa's, my sweet aunt, & Nate's grandma & grandpa passed away. So sad, but we are thankful to know they are in a better place.
In between the fun trips, I had some doctor's appointments & was nervous but excited to get started on my first round of IVF. We have been saving for the past 3 years for this & were so anxious knowing we would have a higher chance of getting pregnant. Well, before we got started on the meds, my doctor wanted to do a special type of ultrasound to make sure my uterus was a normal shape. I was feeling pretty nervous about the test because Nate couldn't come with me & they had told me it involved a balloon type thing & water shooting up there & it just sounded awkward.. Welcome to the world of infertility though, haha! Anyways, my mom ended up coming with me, which was nice & we got lunch beforehand & went shopping. When they started the test everything seemed fine & the doctor was talking to me & asking me questions. Then he got silent & started asking the nurse for different tools & I could just tell that something was wrong. I was so scared & also the test was uncomfortable & took a long time & then finally the doctor told me that something wasn't quite right & to get dressed & meet him in the consult room. I got dressed quickly & went in the room & he told me that he thought I might have a vaginal septum that was blocking my uterus almost completely except for a tiny hole. He asked if I felt uncomfortable using a tampon (which I do but I just thought it was normal) & if I have very painful periods (which I do). He told me to set up an appointment that week to do another test with a camera (a hysteroscopy) to make sure that was what I had.
I came back a few days later, had another very uncomfortable & long test & they were able to take pictures & videos to determine that I did indeed have vaginal septum. So then, instead of starting IVF, I had to cancel everything & we are now waiting to have our doctor contact a surgeon & set up the surgery. It is all very stressful. One thing that has been so hard is that every single test that has been done, they say that they are just checking for something which I probably don't have & then I do end up having whatever that is. This is just another one of those cases. I guess this condition is so extremely rare, which does not make me feel better. I just wish I could have a normal body that could get pregnant. I hear mom's complaining about their children, & complaining about how they get pregnant so easily & it just breaks my heart. I know that one day this trial will be over & I will look back on it & see the things I learned but at this time it is just so hard.
I am thankful for what I have though. Nate & I have such a strong marriage & he has always been there for me. I am thankful for my belief in God & that has gotten me through this! This surgery could be a good thing in the long run, it's possible that they could remove the septum & then I could get pregnant naturally now & from then on, which would be the most amazing thing every. I'm thankful that they were able to discover this issue before we started IVF & at this time rather than years later.
Anyways, that't my update. Hopefully the surgery will be scheduled soon & will go well!