This past week I had some ladies come visit me to drop off some Christmas treats & visit. They were aware that I was struggling with getting pregnant & both started telling me stories of people who had tried so hard to get pregnant & after they stopped trying & worrying, they got pregnant right away. Ok, I know they were just trying to be nice but I am SOOOOO tired of people telling me that in order to get pregnant I need to stop worrying or stop trying to get pregnant! I want to be like, "PEOPLE, I HAD BLOCKED FALLOPIAN TUBES, THERE WAS LITERALLY NO WAY FOR ME TO EVEN GET PREGNANT!!!" I have also had so many other suggestions or opinions from others that I could write a book about it. Here are some of the things I have been told (all of which drive me crazy & are of no help at all)!
1. Once you stop stressing or worrying you will get pregnant. --You try to get pregnant for several years with hundreds of negative pregancy tests & then take ovulation tests & track everything & time sex & then when that doesn't work, try taking lots of different medicines & shots in your stomache, all of which make you very emotional & hormonal & basically feeling like you are on your period 24/7 & then tell me to stop stressing. Oh & throw in surgeries & thousands & thousands of $ to the mix.
2. It took me 2 months to get pregnant but I know the feeling of wanting to get pregnant because that month of getting a negative & waiting was so hard. --Please do not compare 1 month of waiting to years & years.
3. Thank you for opening up to me. I just wanted to tell you I'm pregnant! (This has happened to me twice, both right after I opened up to friends. I wanted to say, "that is literally the worst thing you could just say to me right now." OF COURSE I am so happy for friends & family that are able to get pregnant, but having someone open up to you about not being able to get pregnant is not the correct timing to share your news with them.
4. I was trying to get pregnant for 4 months & wasn't able to. Then my doctor just told me I needed to eat more. I ate more & then I got pregnant the next month! --Thank you, I guess all the donuts & cookies I've been stress eating just need to be doubled & then I'll get pregnant!
5. I have a special masseuse that I go to. If you just go to him, I know you could get pregnant. --While I'm not opposed to having a massage, I don't think this is the cure all.
6. Having a stressful job is probably why the treatments aren't able to work. Why don't you take a year off from work to focus on the treatments. --Right, since I may need to pay $16,00 for IVF & am also currently spend over $1,000 a month on treatments, I might as well quit my job, go without health insurance & pay, & sit around the house hoping I will get pregnant. I probably should never leave my bed because I don't need the stress of actually living like a normal person.
7. I have the opposite problem as you, I can't stop having kids!--Again, literally the worst thing you could say to someone with infertility. How could you think that would make someone feel better?
8. We've got too many kids, have one of ours! --Haha, glad I could give you a laugh.
9. Have you thought of adoption.--Oh no, I have never even considered that... thank you for giving me the idea! Of course anyone who struggles with infertilty has considered adoption & either doesn't feel it is the right choice for them, is pursiuing it, or is not opposed to adoption but is not considering it at the time.
10. I guess you just need to learn patience. --No comment.