Since going through infertility, I have learned that plans can never be set in stone & when you do have something important planned, it most likely will need to be cancelled/ rescheduled. One thing that I hate is when plans are changed. I have a calendar that I look at daily to see when the next fun event is so I can start counting down the days. Each day I make my own little schedule on a sticky note with everything I need to to & what time it will be done. I don't feel relaxed until I have that all scheduled out. My husband quickly learned that fun plans can just not be changed. He will mention something about going on vacation or going to some event & I will immediately add it to the calendar.
And then infertility & trying to have a baby came into our lives & all that planning got thrown out the window. I missed my sweet aunt's funeral with all of my family after she passed away from cancer because I found out the day before we planned to leave that I couldn't leave at that time. I missed going up & meeting my newest sweet little nephew because I was told the evening before my mom, sister, & I planned to leave that my 3rd IUI would actually take place 5 days earlier than planned. There are so many other things that I have had to miss or change because of fertility appointments or the timing of everything. All of these times, I have thought, "this will all be worth it if we get pregnant, this could be the month" & then when the end of the month comes around, I see a negative pregnancy test & mourn for what I missed out on.
This month, we are not doing any infertility treatments, but my future sister-in-law had planned a girls weekend in Palm Springs to relax by the pool, go out to eat, & go to the spa. I have been sooo excited for this weekend to just relax & not worry about anything & forget about our infertility struggles. When I checked my ovulation app, it showed I would most likely begin ovulating this Wednesday (yesterday) but my ovulation test came back negative. I am leaving tonight for Palm Springs so I have been so stressed about what if I didn't start ovulating until Friday or Saturday! This morning I took a test & it showed positive, that I am ovulating! I am so thankful that this time, I will not have to change plans. I am so grateful that the timing of everything worked out so that I will not feel guilty or like I am ruining things for being gone this weekend. I know it was an answer to a prayer because it was something I have been worrying about all week. So here's to a 4 day weekend of relaxation!!!! I know that when we do have a child or children, I will look back on all of these events missed & plans changed & it will be worth it. I know that I have been able to get where I am today because of my Heavenly Father, who has been by my side every step of the way, even if I can't always see that.