Wednesday night I had kind of a breakdown. I was just feeling so sad. I couldn't explain why, I just felt like I had this heavy weight on me that was making me feel so weighed down, stressed, & intensely sad. N & I got in an argument, mostly because I was moody, & we laid down to go to sleep. All of the sudden, I just stared sobbing & couldn't stop. I couldn't stop the tears from coming & my body shaking from sobbing. N rolled over & just held me & I was finally able to calm down & fall asleep. One of the things I was feeling so stressed about was my work. We are planning on doing IVF either over the summer or at the beginning of the school year & my work is so busy then. I was stressed about if this would work with my job or if I should start looking for a different job this summer. The next day, yesterday, I had a meeting with my boss & let her know my stressed about this. She was so kind & understanding & let me know that she was totally fine with me leaving work early any days I needed to go to appointments. It relieved a huge stress off of me & I decided I will stay with this job for next year. The other thing that of course is always weighing on me is the sadness of not being able to get pregnant & have a child. My sister has been visiting the past 2 weeks & it has been sooo nice to get time with her & get to hold her sweet little newborn boy. I have loved it so much. But a tiny part of me just feels so sad thinking "will I ever get the opportunity to hold my own sweet little baby?" I am so incredibly happy for my sister & she has been though soooo much with infertility procedures & I am in no way jealous of her, but just yesterday I was thinking that maybe my thoughts were making me sad. One thing I am a little concerned about is that I haven't had my period this month. I should have had it on Thursday, March 23rd, but never had it. I took a pregnancy test on the 23rd & the 27th, just in case, but both were negative. The past few days, my boobs have been huge, I have felt sad, moody, & emotional, & yesterday my stomach was just feeling weird, & today my stomach has been cramping. I know there is only a millionth of a chance that the pregnancy test was wrong, but I am just wondering why I am feeling so weird.