Well, another month down & still not pregnant. This past month we hoped again to be pregnant. We knew we wouldn't be able to find out until after Christmas is I was pregnant, but I still had a little hope in my heart that maybe I was pregnant at Christmas but just wouldn't know it until after. Most of my family was staying until New Years Day so I pictured surprising them at our New Years Eve fondue party if we were pregnant. All of my sisters have been praying for me & hoping so badly that I could get pregnant the past 4 years. I took a pregnancy test on December 29th & it was not positive. Even though we were hoping so much it would be positive, I didn't let myself get as disappointed as I have been in the past because it just gets to hard. The hardest time for me was after our 3rd IUI because we both felt so much like it would work. I just couldn't let myself feel that sad again. Another really hard month was when we found out that we qualified for an IVF study where it would cost $1,600 instead of $16,000 but the study had just barely filled up. Both of those days & weeks & months were sooo hard & I remember just sobbing & sobbing uncontrollably. Sometimes you just need to cry but I remember those days & how hopeless & completely devastated I felt. I was able to pray for comfort & peace & feel that, but there was the complete sadness before that that just hurts me to think about.
The doctor who did my surgery has prescribed me metformin to regulate my cycle (I have been on it the past 3 years, but haven't been going to my fertility doctor since right before my surgery). They said they will give 2 months more to try to get pregnant naturally & if I don't get pregnant, they would like me to go to my fertility doctor so that is our plan. 2 more month hoping & praying that we will get pregnant without treatments. I am going to set up my appointment for 2 months from now so that if we aren't pregnant, we can have our appointment set & not have to worry about waiting for an appointment to open up. I am hoping so much that everything will work out.
We continue to have faith & feel hope about our future & I really do feel like this is our year!