I am currently in the 2 week wait of my 2nd IUI. I was reading a blog of a woman who struggled with infertility for 7 years & after 4 failed IUI's, she was able to get pregnant with quadruplets through IVF! I was going through her blog & reading her post on her 1st IUI. Her feelings were so similar to mine! But when she found out it didn't work, her mom told her that it was part of her story & that she might be able to share her story with others later. After she had her quadruplets, she was so glad how everything had happened because she would have missed out on having her quadruplets if she had had things her way.
Right now, I feel like I am at a good place. It has been a hard 2 1/2 years, but I have been relying on faith & a knowledge that Heavenly Father's plan is better than my own. This has given me comfort & this past week I haven't even worried much about what our results will be next Saturday. I have felt a peace & comfort that everything will be alright. I know that doesn't mean that my pregnancy test will come up positive, I just know that Heavenly Father has a plan for me & I trust in Him.
This struggle with infertility has been the hardest trial of my life so far. Wanting something so badly & having negative results month after month. Seeing so many others pregnant or with families full of children. Hearing others complain about pregnancy or motherhood. Having everything monitored so closely, having shots & blood draws, so many doctors appointments, thousands of dollars spent, & so many medications that make me feel sick/moody/emotional.
I am also thankful though. Thankful that each long month brings my husband & I closer together as we support & are there for each other. Thankful that I can spend time with my nephews & niece which brings me so much happiness. Thankful that when I do get pregnant & have children, I be so incredibly thankful & will be sensitive to others who might be experiencing infertility. Thankful that I will appreciate my role as a mother so much more than I would have had I gotten pregnant the first few months. Thankful that I have grown closer to my Heavenly Father & learned to except His plan for me & live my life with happiness & joy no matter what I am going through. Thankful that we have a wonderful doctor & the best office to visit & that right now we have the money to pay for the many doctors appointments, medicine, injections, & procedures. I have so much to be thankful for.
I hope that just one person can read this blog & know that they are not alone & feel peace & comfort in that.
I hope that I can look back on this blog/journal one day & see how everything worked together & how Heavenly Father's plan is a perfect plan.