Last night was so nice. N & I went to one of our church's temples. It was such a wonderful way to spend the middle of a busy & stressful week. We were able to do important ordinances there & then sit in the peaceful, celestial room. It was perfect. Afterwards, we stopped & got a pizza to share at a place called Char. It was delicious! I had already eaten dinner but was starving!! Then we came home, I grabbed a spoonful of homade nutella & N made chocolate milk, & we watched a show/I fell asleep as always.
After work I had gone to Trader Joe's & bought my favorite chocolate bar (dark chocolate w/ toffee & walnuts) & some flowers- beautiful lilies. It made my think of how I would love to have a daughter & name her Lily. I got them to cheer me up if the news is sad. N & I talked about what we will do if the news is good or sad. It helps to plan it out ahead of time. Last time our plan was if it was sad news, we would get bbq food to eat for dinner at home & watch a movie. If it was good news, we would have gone out to eat to celebrate. This time if it is sad news, we will make bacon, egg, & cheese biscuits & hot chocolate for breakfast & relax at home. If it is good news, we will go out to a cute little french restaurant to celebrate (their chocolate mousse is the best!!!).
I am trying not to think too much either direction, but just to have faith in God that He knows what is best. This time if the news is sad, I will do my best to not be sad for so long. Last time I cried the entire day off & on & it was just so hard & such an emotional day. I really can't even let myself picture what it will be like to get a positive test because I don't want to get let down again. Last time, right before taking the test (at 4am) I asked N, "do you think it will be positive?" & he said yes. We were both just so excited. Then, the disappointing negative. Anyways, this time I feel better because I have no expectations. My stomach was cramping this morning & I still have a stiff neck & headache. The cramping felt like it does sometimes before I start my period.. :/
Anyways, today I am working & then making tons of scones (a batch of strawberry, a batch of orange zest + vanilla bean, & if I am feeling crazy, a batch of pumpkin pecan with maple glaze) for N's clients. Then I am going to Bunco with my sista!!! I love living by family!! Then tomorrow is Friday night and DATE night!!! My favorite!!!! I am so glad it is almost the weekend!!!!